Here I go, I will do what I can to unfold the broken memories, from the move. But here is the thing. There were a few moves I believe. I can recall feeling tension and worry. My parents were not the same. I feel like when the tension started in the house, I started to be more present. Not that I left my room or closet often unless we were doing things. I could hear more fighting, Now we are still on the Golf course at this time. We had a cottage in the country. Something I enjoyed with a huge beautiful tree. No matter where I went, I found a safe place. Not only a safe place but a place to enjoy the connection with nature. As I write about this tree I so loved, I can still feel my spirit connect with the feelings I had, at that moment.
I assume as an adult, we had money to invest in this place. What I remember is a lot of people around. Parties and lots of music. My Father use to practice in our living room at the house. So that is where my family started to get into the want to learn to play music.
So let me tell a bit about what I also enjoyed at the house on the Golf course. We had a dog, named Spike. He was a soft and gentle fella. My Dad made him a dog house and there was a little fenced in area for him. I slightly remember maybe another dog. But I am not sure. As I write I can feel like we had a puppy. I would lay in the dirt with this dog, talk with him. he was the fasted runner that I ever saw. As a family, we all loved that dog.
I remember going camping with my family. But I remember leaving in this camper that was made by my Father. I can not recall too much on the trips. I can recall everything as if I was alone. I don’t know how to explain this. I remember a lake we fished in and we could walk forever but it would just be shallow water. And always a mussel boil. But as far as what else we did. You might have to ask my family.
So now, with all talk about the house, the cottage. My parents, I gather were doing good in money, but not what was about to be around the corner. Often we would go to a friends place of my parents. Always having a few drinks. This one night was different. Before I even got in the car,late that night I was scared. We took one of their sons home for the night to be with my brothers. My Dad drove us home. My Mom was telling my dad to slow down. But he did not listen. He was drunk and speeding and lost his brakes on the wet grass. He lost control of the car. We slammed into a golf cart and his work van. and straight into the telephone pole. We hit it hard enough that the pole was now slanted. I can tell you if we did not have the golf car to slow down the impact. I don’t think we would have been here. My mom slammed her head into the dash. My brother’s teeth went into his hand. But we survived.
Things became more noticeable to me from here on. We were moving away to the cottage. Things were going to change from here. What I really wanted was Spike the dog to come with us. My father said he would be back to get him. We were moving away from all we knew. Another blow that came was our dog Spike was trying to find us. We lived by a four-lane highway. Our Dog, Spike was killed on the highway. As much as he wanted to be with us, I wanted him to be with us. This would have been our first time losing a dog we loved so much.So maybe that is why I needed that tree, up in behind the cottage.
As far as I know, and what I was told,my parents lost everything. So that is why the move happened. My Father still had his music, and I can imagine that was his happy place. His world is upside down as well as him family. He had to find a job now.
From here in the country, we had to move to Bridgetown. My Dad found a job with CP Rail. We lived in a big house, with a dentist office attached. We had a nice garage in the driveway. I remember the fireplace and the nice wooden floors. Also, we had a nice big yard. Living in Bridgetown was going to be different for us. But we had family there. My Moms sister and her husband lived there. My uncle was a principal of the school and my aunt worked in the kitchen at the elementary school. One of the sad things for me was my Dad always had to be away it felt. My Dad always worked very hard for his income.
One of the memories I find carried thru with me was his love of Star Trek shows and Mash. I do enjoy these shows still today. My Dad and I also enjoyed green tomatoes.
I really became great cousins with Kimmy. She and I had lots of fun together. One of my memories is the game of Life with her. We would place that for hours. Also the game clue. She would explain things to me that no one had ever told me. One of the most amazing things happened. She would give me a break from home. the unsettled life we were having. She also introduced me to the cabbage patch kids. Not only did I love these dolls, I had a responsibility to sign an adoption paper to own her. I had to take care of her. My Dad bought me a special one. He made sure the one I really desired came home to me. It was not a holiday I don’t think. I was so happy to have this doll. My cousin and I would walk around Bridgetown with our cabbage patch kids in strollers.
At this house, I made my first batch of bread. We were never allowed to touch anything at this point. So I quickly made some dough and shoved it up in the cupboard to rise. I would run up to my room and wait. Checking on the bread and checking to see if my mom was going to show up. My poor little bowl of dough kinda raised. it also had a weird smell. But the color was right and I was excited that I was able to create something to eat.
I can remember a lot of bad things that happened at this house. I also recall a good friend I made…I can’t remember her name at this point in my life. I wish I would have known I would lose memory at 41 years old. but I will try and get as much down for me and my kids. I will try and figure out on this writing journey why I am who I am.